If you have an insight into my life …. then you must be a heart which I trust…
For those who have this… you will understand the poem….
I have been feeling my Janet… she has brought amazing colours into my life… she was a Golden Angel.
And I loved so much.
My Janetxx
Rainbows
Like a nun I know where my heart belongs
I guarded my heart because I want to give it to you
It was lost in deceit
But it has found a home
A well held truth
My heart will never give up; never say good-bye
My heart held truth of a love will never lie
For my heart can never be told that this love will die
To love……
I live with my heart in my hands
Knowing your heart has walked from lies also from shifting sand
Adjourned
Dormant
Suitcase zipped words false; spoken proof
My heart also had been shut down… inside like your pain
It felt afraid and felt cold
Glimpsed suddenly two graves I viewed my youth….Caught inside where I shed rain…a bolt of black suits
My World drowning
I had to cope from told lies
With a final gasp this heart is barely alive
I survived a Titanic; held under in deep darkness; under depth to cope to claim
Meeting you has brought joy to this nearly LOST HEART and its thoughts
You live in my hour’s minute’s seconds; a new stillness you have brought
Your existence… understood clues….Inside my heart
Sacrifices; gestures I am a new sleuth
No need to worry anymore
For I know you only speak truth
NO MORE LIES LIKE BEFORE WITH MY LAND
FOR MY HEART NOW FEELS LOVE WHICH IS TRUTH FOR MY SAND
Praying with my big wish…to my Janet for my heart
Awaiting it watched……through rain drops to start
A dawn …. Rainbows…
Looking to the sky….. a crown of colour was born for my eyes.
Written to shed light from a Rainbow…. xx
I am so happy I could almost cry…. the children… all of eleven years…who I took to my exhibition… loved my paintings and they actually understood the story…. it was so good watching them discover the meaning behind the series… it felt so good… I felt so happy and yet amazed at the astuteness of their minds…. and the emotion they showed when they all stood and gazed like open mouthed fish, to acknowledge their teacher …. ME.
One of the boys actually liked the painting of the face of the bride… which accompanies the poem … Behind My Eyes… here it is … you have already had a sneak view of the eyes..now you can see it all… please view my video. x
Behind My Eyes
In the state of undress
Walking forwards to be dressed in WHITE
Is this enough for me …is this it, for the rest of my life?
Will it be enough for ..THIS.. my commitment…to be a chosen wife?
Am I too expecting?
Unknown,
I wish for chaste insight?
Looking for a mirror……… ..Deep pools of heaviness I fight.
I have a beautiful heart
My dress it unfolds with lace
Upward is a dull sky
Is this a sign for my future space?
Will my love remain….a covered shelter?
Where no excitement steals my face!
Am I to be in my APPOINTED room?
Is this the man I planned, has it happened all too quick too soon
If I ever lose this MAN?….. The love I am to merge
Will my colours fade into cloudy days?
If I stare long enough will my fears disperse?
I’m being followed by my heavy heart
Worried ….why is it, inside I cry?
Am I being negative and too absurd…I have thought behind my eyes.
Have you ever been somewhere and thought… I remember… so many memories… so many times… so many hours… that we should like to forget.
I have recently had dreams … which have led me to remember… and I so want them to go away.
I am to make a video tomorrow… and I have so much to do in one day… it is scary… so I will not stay long talking to you… I have been involved with teaching poetry today… which is one of my passions… the people involved with morning of poetry liked the detail and subject matter of the piece… its about a journey which came for me… not expected not really planned … but oh! so amazing… I will never forget the day I experienced it.
I will never; I think … forget the day… I met a man called Pete…..he has come into my pathway to help me start another journey… I am aware that I can have this journey now… as I know how you need to run it..
Here is the poem about the day… I ran… I know that day now… it was so necessary for my future journeys… it proved to me how strong I can be… and that I can survive… without … but I oh! so want to be with; and not without; a love for my life… I cant stop smiling and want this smile to stay… those who have a relationship which makes them smile will connect with the emotion I am feeling…I hope you are all smiling..x
Here is the poem… I wrote it in 2009… about the day I spent running the London Marathon..
A Journey Necessary
I ran my perfect race
The day the sun came out
I walked into the Blue Coral
And cried out with screams and shouts
I met a man from KIWI land
His time with me was now
We both knew it had been a plan
But we had no idea just how?
A Rocking Bella was on my vest
And a signature of love
A tale of whom and what I knew
And words describing mountain paths I’VE trod
I had the knowledge
A lady, big C
A woman who was so kind
A trainer a friend
She had become to me
And with her
I race with my mind
I knew the place I had to go
The pace I had to work
I felt the zone the air
The Marathon
My destiny
With
STING
His songs, a need to win
My true hearts
Are close to me
Close to me in my mind
They make my heart feel necessary
And together we will find
The ending the finish
The line
The line I have to cross
The future
The footprints planted
Now a race to stamp, not loss
The River
The Sky
The Bridge
The Tower
The Palace
The Chipping Ridge
The miles and gels for time
The mixtures of life
The people who rhyme
The perfect race
The perfect race for me
I had seen this in a dream
Which, then became reality
My destiny
My space
Today this could be
The greatest Journey of my life
STAY CLOSE TO ME
STAY CLOSE TO ME
I can feel my strength
Which, overcame my strife
This journey is so necessary
So necessary to me
My heart is in this World
I feel so alive
Running with my
TRUE HEARTS
WHO STAYED
With me
DEEP INSIDE
The week is later and time has past… and posting the past …. is the involvement which my paintbrush has had in my creative series of paintings.
I am shortly to reveal the paintings to the World of the Internet.. and you..
I was so aware of a time which I may never have chosen to have, painting with my paintbrush this story this sequence of events… which now hangs for all to view… but the story it reveals could easily of been about anyone of you, you who could have pondered for a while, gazed at your future steps … and perhaps realised that in hindsight… the path you walked down… towards a church… was not the path which was to make you happy… IN THE END…
The series includes the poetry which is inset with the story … and reveals the connection and thought processes behind the event.
I hope you enjoy…
Faces for you to ponder over and come to understand …… I hope you find the story something you can connect to…
Be back with the rest soon …Lizziex
Thank you so much for reading my blog…everyone… you are popping up from all over our World… it looks amazing on my plan of our planet… I have so much exciting news to share..
The first is that my new exhibition has been received very well; I was so thrilled at how it sits in the exhibition space…the lady who owns the gallery is a genius at hanging … and it looks so much more together and tells such a deep insight story about commitment and marriage that you all must watch it on U tube linked with this blog… I am to go and film it this very week end..and hope I do a better job this time now I know about movie making.
My next exciting news…is that I have met a man … which I want to get involved with…and I am hoping he feels the same… he and I seem to have hit it off very quickly….I feel that this has got to be a very good sign for our future pathway… but as they say …and I have written about this in a poem which is part of my new exhibition for you all to read … ‘plan to be surprised’ … and that is exactly what has happened … I have been very surprised… I will keep you all posted.. I am signing off now … as I have one million and on things to do today…. I will leave you with an exhort from my exhibition… my poem… titled
Plan to be Surprised
Plan to be Surprised
If you have a plan
Plan to be surprised
If things don’t turn out how you expected
A plan will materialize
Waiting by the clock that stopped
Waiting for his eyes
Waiting for a book to open
Waiting to read insight
I don’t know why I feel so scared
I feel it all the same
I feel I want to be the one
Both feeling mad….feeling emotion too insane
This madness which is not a word
But an ability to feel a latch an attachment to help a spark
Is a mad silence, two possible dealt cards….
A ring a steal exchange… around two hearts
From two heady lives
I want to enclose my heart
I hope you like it…. and I hope you like the rest of the collection which is to follow shortly… Lizzie x
This is a very quick blog… I have taken my series of paintings to the gallery tonight… and I am still up trying to make me printer work… as I need to print a poem which was left out by mistake…. it is driving me mad because it just will not work…troubleshooted so many times… I want just to throw it at something now… any way going to go to bed… and start again in the morning..
I will be blogging my new work… check out my new web site … it has just gone live.. newly installed …by my fantastic and talented cousin Lynne… she is a genius… and I love her for how she helps me… she is really and truly a angel needle.. x
Morning photograph of my garden… I’ve had a lovely day … Sunday brought lots of unexpected surprises…
Isn’t the light just fab… you can just feel the newness of the morning in it.. x
This morning is so beautiful…. I think someone was trying to wake me…. I have taken a photograph of my garden the light is so fresh..
I have a girlfriend, a colleague coming for lunch. Andrea is Swiss, and has lots of talents with languages, alongside her artistic abilities… she is a lovely lady with some very gifted children…. another wonderful heart, who deserves better than that which life has dealt her so far.. I forgot to mention she is also fantastic at renovating houses… she is about to renovate an old barn, so she is on the move again…
I will post a photo of my garden… I took it twenty minutes ago.. it is so still ….and the colours look so different in this light
How life is disappointing sometimes…most of the time… but last night … the commission I painted was received by such a lovely couple, (person the painting was of)…that it made my heart sing… they are about to set off on another chapter of their life journey…. it warmed my heart to watch two fantastic human beings want to change their lives for their dream…we should all learn from them… and applaud them on their way along their journey… God bless you …. Tracy and Ryan…
Here is the poem … I promised you , it is called…
Needles
Stabbing came the needle
Surprising hours to make us whole
Darting cotton weaving
Life
Time
Connecting damaged souls
Understanding, helping with…. desires….goals
My needle came
She came to me …with my tearful eye
In watchful days time moves forward for our clock
Needles come to capture hearts … ragged edges they appear, to un- block
Ringing truth reading distance, to help our journey on
It has happened in my life…. my footsteps grow
My needle heart has made them strong
Look for your needles embrace them into you……be aware of them… and believe.
Needles knit the World together… they connect to good hearts and souls…. I so believe that.
I cannot even start to explain how my needle appeared .. only it came from pain… and this lady , has helped me mend.. she is a massive heart.
With love I have written this for her.. xx
I am waiting for an important package… a painting to be collected… it is top secret… so I can’t tell you who my commission has been for….
All I can tell you is…. I think it is a good likeness…. especially of him in his uniform…. where he has been very loyal and supportive in his role to our Tickhill inhabitants… we will have to wait and see what he thinks about it….it is a surprise.
My day has been full of contrast… and my mind and heart … are very confused at the moment… but as they say… it will all come out in the wash… cant wait for next Friday….
I have Alexander tomorrow… he is 15 months now and such a scream… he laughs and I laugh… I will probably be in his sand pit and his paddling pool all afternoon tomorrow if it stays hot as I hope it will …..
My grass and my Mia are still loving the sun… but I must go and get changed… I have my painting gear on and I am going to a Zumba class…
The sun came out today… I opened my door and felt the warmth.
I have never seen my cat 
I spent my morning drinking coffee and eating a almond quoissant, (my favourites) …. I also love aromatic coffee and I have bought a new brand from Italy… it tasted rather good (will buy this again… will blog the name when I go look… cant just remember it at the moment.)
The conversation over coffee was very interesting … I learnt lots about needles, running and how when we achieve it moves our inner souls.
I remember finishing the London Marathon 2009 and couldn’t stop crying at the end… I was so emotional that day..it has had such an impact upon me and how I strive to accept and how to be everything I want to be …. I really believe everyone can have the confidence to do anything … if they understand their inner soul…. running or achieving anything we think is not possible for us…. teaches us so much when we do achieve that impossibility we thought we couldn't achieve……. opportunities we are given to shuffle in the cards we are dealt…should be embraced.
I had not known the term …. needles…. in the connotation which was explained to me this morning .. I have written a poem about it… I will let you read it soon…it needs tweaking
I am going to leave you with a photo in the sun……. and the table I had coffee at in my garden this morning…
Oh! and my lovely cat Mia… she is just adorable… and very affectionate. such a sweet natured cat.
