Friday 28 December 2012

Reasons

It was my birthday on Dec 23 rd..

I have a twin sister who doesn’t talk to me…. who probably doesn’t even know this blog exists…….she fell out with me and leaves her heart where it is cold….. I have tried but it seems it cannot be reached…. giving up is all I can do now.

When Christmas arrives it can leave some interesting marks…. marks of light and shade and marks that are left with an edge of fuzziness…(not necessarily from the par-taking of alcohol)…..fuzziness is how I feel at the moment…. I feel like I am half rubbed away ….and my skin feels brazed and a little bruised.. and slightly grey inside… when it should be glowing with the warmth of love…………..

I have had a very odd time …. this last 48 plus hours… it has been interspersed with great anticipation and great sadness…. and a lump which stuck in my throat toooo long….

I didn’t have a present to open on Christmas day… I watched someone else unwrapping the warmth …but there was none given in return….

I have been inside a Cathedral in a very beautiful place which touched my eyes and soul…. and made me feel so warm

It ‘s horrible to feel cold… especially when the coldness is one which you don’t ask for… nor deserve

How I love candles and the glow they give with their beautiful aromas …..

I wish all warmth could always stay with us… but alas we will all be cold one day…

I heard something quite profound which made me listen …. it was about love… it went like this… and I thought about it when I entered the Cathedral two days ago…

‘If as a child you are not touched by love and therefore cannot recognise it …. in later life it takes longer to learn what its for…’ 

How true is this …me thinks….

I also heard this …….’ there are only two reasons we ever do anything…. one is love…the other is fear..’

I had a love once …. who is still in my warmth….he has only stepped away….

But this is what we all should understand…..’only those who recognise the smell the light and the warmth of love will hold it’…

Christmas …should be full of warmth…

Be WARM all of you …………….. 

1 comment:

Rachel f said...

Hi hun, I've only just come on Twitter and seen this post, it made me cry xx really hope you're ok xx sending you lots of love xxx